Why Waiting Years Before Writing Your Autobiography or Memoir Makes You Smart, Not a Slacker

Most people think about writing their own autobiography or memoir for years and years before they actually sit down to do it. These same people tend to carry around a lot of guilt about not writing it already, thinking things like, “It’s been X years, so why haven’t I gotten it done?” or “I keep on sitting at my desk, ready to write, but two hours later I’m still staring at a blank screen.” 

Believe me, I’ve been there. And I’m here to tell you that contrary to what the demon on your shoulder may have been telling yourself, waiting for the right amount of time before writing down your memories is actually a good thing. 

Before I explain exactly why this is, let’s briefly go over the difference between an autobiography and a memoir.

 An autobiography encompasses  the majority of someone’s life (eg. from birth to 60+ years old) whereas a memoir is laser-beam focused on a small sliver of someone’s life (eg. time spent in the Vietnam war, or your first year as a stand-up comic).

No matter which one you’re interested in writing (and if you’re 25, uh, it probably shouldn’t be the autobiography), a crucial component of your writing needs to contain reflection on what happened. This is your story, not a business report. Therefore, rather than a dry recitation of the facts exactly as they happened, you and your readers (even if they’re just family), want to know why you made the choices you made and how you feel about them.

As human beings, we often don’t fully understand the implications of the events of our lives until years (or decades!) later. Therefore, your level of reflection will be significantly deeper once you’ve had time to process the events in your life rather than if you were to write about them right away. It’s the same reason why if you get into an argument with your spouse about something inconsequential (eg. You never do the dishes!), you might not realize until later that the fight was actually about something deeper (eg. I’m feeling unappreciated.)

So if you’ve been wanting to write about your life for a few years or more and haven’t done it yet, consider this your permission slip to let go of the guilt. Celebrate your oh-so-wise decision to have given yourself enough time to deeply reflect!